Tortoise...es Are Cool!

Think about it, giant and lumbering land animals that have outlived the dinosaurs while being some of the slowest and easiest to catch creatures on the planet. They exist all over the world except for extreme cold regions, as they are cold blooded, come in many many types and rang is so many sizes.

The tortoise is a creature that enjoys his "alone time". Being solitary creatures it can sometimes be difficult to find them. For an animal that is so large they are very stealthy, if not slow and still very lumbering.

Still many animals, including tortoise...es are being newly discovered each day. We all know of the Galapagose Tortoise and some of us know of local ones. Close to myself we have rather large Gopher Tortoise that does as it name implies. They dig burrows for which to lay eggs in.

Also, a lot of tortoise ...es, turtles and other slow moving reptiles are endangered due to people wanting their shells. This is troubling to anyone who has an issue with animal rights or just the rights of these large reptiles.

A Slew...

...of amusements in one video.

About two or three minutes ago there was a search for something that was to be a comparison of Kayne West vs Daft Punk, when the reality is Daft Punk vs Daft Punk plus Kayne West, however there was a distraction. Upon searching for an embeddable video of the Kayne West/Daft Punk combo something much more interesting was found.

A video mash up of recent games, movies and other 18-35 white male demographic type things with the song Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger combo of Kayne and Daft Punk. At that point I could no longer go on about my original post and had to share this one.

Brilliance, this is!



There are similar such combos on the youtube...rs channel.

CD Bubbles (Its F***ing Science!)

AOTS - Its F***ing Science Segment

This concept looks really cool provided you've an open area to do it in an truly no longer wish to have the CD as more then garbage. I've yet to personally try it and honestly, have zero to no intention to but that's still amusing, right there.

Yes, AOTS did the work for me. Yay for cheating out on another blog post!

CoolROM

Safe, secure and mostly legal, CoolROM.com has to be your best choice for ROMs, ISOs and other emulator files. This being, for one main reason. CoolROM has some very strict rules about what does, and does not, get posted on its site.

While there are many, many, available ROMs and links to emulators to play them, nothing on CoolROM will ever be taken down to a legal infringement. Simply put, any ESA protected ROMs, franchises and anything pertaining to the Xbox, PS2 and up is not allowed on the site. Only obsolete and dead consoles are allowed for download via the main site. This basic practice and premise keeps the site about the games and less about "free stuff" while also keeping away the troubles that comes with "early emulation".

All of that, plus a great community that is all about the games and you've a winner of a site. Covering everything from the Atari 2600 up to the PSX, CoolROM has what you're looking for if you are worried about the ESA or just don't want anything that you should not. The site even runs Dream Cast ISOs, which is moderately rare for most sites. You've to join the forum if you wish to get ISOs for the Dream Cast and PSX but when you do there is a wonderful set of people ready to help you with anything you need.

Not to mention that CoolROM's best feature, ROM suggestion, on the side of the screen always has you pointed at popular ROMs for the system you are browsing. It fluctuates, on average, weekly to monthly.

Here's to seeing you on-site, cheers.

Sam Winchester Has a "Problem"

Show: Supernatural
Song: Detachable Penis by King Missile
Result: Gold

Come on, that was funny! Okay, maybe if you absolutely love the show or character you may fail to see the humor in this. Then again if you watch the show enough you will wonder where Dean's testicles are and why Sam ain't dead yet.

Perhaps watching Jack Sparrow love his jar of dirt will amuse you more. It is always funny when a feared pirate sounds like a child while he sing-songs.


Jack Sparrow "I've Got a Jar of Dirt" - Remix


Yes, it is a lazy day here at Solve Unamusement but sometimes that happens. The other option, as compared to getting two vids posted, was to simply post nothing and pretend like I had forgotten. Watch some of the related vids on "I've Got a Jar of Dirt" for extra smiles.

!Metroid!

Nintendo is good at beating the dead dog when it releases new games but the Metroid series is one that still has lots of life to it. Starting off on the NES/Famicon the Metroid games have lasted as long as Final Fantasy and Mario.


Nice little magic hybrid shooter platformers with collectible items and with recent games a range in difficulty. Having the series span all of Nintendo's systems Metroid currently has itself a rather large fan base. Of course there is the whole "Metroid Pinball" thing but one mess up can usually be ignored while the rest are rather gold. The "Metroid Pinball" game wasn't horrible by any means but it isn't exactly what one comes to expect from Samus.

Samus, the main character in all the Metroid games, is a female bounty hunter decked out with a plasma gun and a high tech space suit with armor abilities. She goes about her galaxy fighting space pirates and removing other scourge like any good bounty hunter but while she's on the job there is a problem with a nearby race call the Metroids. These creatures of unimaginable power are being bred by the space pirates to be the equivalent of a nuclear bomb of today. Starts the story of Metroid (One) on the NES.

Further, Metroid took a to Nintendo's first hand held which is sometimes called by gamers "the GameBrick" rather then GameBoy due to the handhelds bulky size. One this adventure Samus takes the fight to the Metroid home world, trying to wipe out the deadly creatures before any more harm can come. She does her job for all but one Metroid which decides to follow Samus like a puppy.

Taking the "lost Metroid" back to be studied, Samus then decides to leave the space station in pursuit of a bounty. This is where the best Metroid, Super Metroid, starts. The beginning of the game has Samus Aran briefing you, the player, on the past games events and the fact that there has recently been a distress call from the station she left the creature at. Soon, you and Samas find that a giant alien monster, known as Ridley, has taken the metroid for itself. Samus fights the best to no avail, Ridley grabs the metroid and the station starts a self destruct sequence. If Samas manages to escape the station before the countdown reaches zero she follows Ridley to the planet Zeebes and it is there that this adventure truly begins.

Super Metroid for the SNES has to be one of the best games on the system itself. There is plenty of action, a driven story and the game has a mild retention of its difficulty even through multiple play throughts. Mastering some of the extra moves or finding out ones you did not know where there is also a fun thing to try.

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Something & Nothing

Kelly Vivanco is a current popular artist that many people are just dying to get their hands on, her artwork I mean. When you view her works it is clear why too. Her paintings, especially the smaller ones and panels, are like a brothers grim story quickly given a single panel for its story. Nothing seems lost in the translations as you look and then understand.

Recently, a couple of days ago, Kelly Vivanco had a show with another artist with similar styles. Subtext has info on it and later shows if you are interested. Kelly Vivanco is also the writer of the Patches comic, which I discussed earlier in this blog. That is originally how I came about her works, though the amusement of the comic. It was a great little transition that makes me wish I could also monetize my limited skill with a pencil.

In all seriousness and understanding, one should check out her art. If not on the expencive side, Kelly Vivanco has some great pieces that just make you wish you were inside the painting. Reality of this is I can't talk to much about her artwork, you just have to view it for yourself.





Kelly Vivanco also keeps a blog, which is in my watch list, to keep her fans up to date. Currently, or rather recently within the last month or so, I have come a fast fan. The blog gets updated once every few days with something interesting and mildly random, you should check it out.

All of Kelly's work, info and other things can be found at at hingos.com, a link is also in the sidebar.

Why not also view her flicker?
(Flicker link can also be found at hingos.com)

The TWB of Cantr??

Firstly, less then half of you are asking yourself what Cantr is. All this while the other less then half is asking themselves what TWB is and there is one of you who knows what neither of those things are. Anyone else was looking for something else and find my blog on accident so has zero clue what this is about regardless of my acronyms.

Today there shall be talks of something that actually is a cause of the problem. However, talking about the problem is actually an amusement in itself so there is no harm in breaking function of the blog any.

The simplistic notion of this post, and its title if you were inside my head, is the problem of falsified elitism among writers. Generally speaking in the matter of creative writing here. The problem is you, once and awhile, get either a group of mind thinkers or just one really loud intrusion of a man, or woman, that makes others bow to his bored prowess. A more popular example would be the Harry Potter and Twilight books.

On both sides of each, be they for or with the stories the elitist are the ones who cause the trouble for the rest. Some may say the elitist is also the fanatic if writing and creative thinking were to be taken in that route. Any human being with half of a mind can tell you that fanatic behavior only causes strife. This strife, however, is external to the fanatic or elitist group. The thing with elitism and fanaticism are that they are not self destructive and actually self rewarding.

Now fanaticism is an extra extreme taking of the form of an elite but its notion and restrictions still apply.

• Only The Best
• We of the "elite" are always in the right/know what is best.
• An argument with one ends only in the non elitist giving up or the elitist attacking the non.
• The none-elitist is always wrong and usually insulted and claimed unintelligent or something of that nature.

These behaviors are common among some circles and, sadly enough, even encouraged but it is when the elitist is the poor example that one must surly slam their foot on the person's face; figuratively, of course. This is the problem I share today.

TWB is an internet play by post RPing site which is operated and controlled by an elite group of "creative writers" who believe a story may only work a certain way and only in a certain manner. Added to the fact that one must be in the "main circle" to even see most of the activity on the site and you have a clear problem of "my farts don't stink".

This is all well and fine if you do not bump into anyone with an open and free thinking mind. When you are the puppet master there is only room for stringed sheep. So once someone like myself comes along there is always deemed trouble. Quickly this behavior brings "out the troll in me". There is a constant stream of aggressive attempts to shatter the glass house of whoever has built this "I am Jesus" wall around themselves. Any expressive of free thinking would generally resort to such tatics on the eventual level but it is difficult for me to remain on my senses. An elitist's ego, especially those without any standing, is only a zeppelin filled with hydrogen gas. Easy to pop and easier to set aflame.

However, TWB is not the issue today. Today we speak of a game that wishes to share with Cantr in its game play., Faery Tale Online (FTO). The game does a well enough job but needs a lot of work. The problem with this is that the current community on FTO has a small elitist attitude toward anyone who is not willing to simply accept FTO in the manner that is now. There are some small consensus among the group but generally they wish to keep the game how they found it. That is a fine and well to do thing to want but it is not okay to futher more attack those who simply state that the game is not perfect.

Quickly anyone who has anything negative to say about the game is flamed and attacked by some of the sites "core members". This, of course, has a negative response to those giving an honest responce about the game, when it is negative. Soon those who do not wish to play by the games current unrwritten rules that the players have arbitrarily set down for no reason other then to make the game how they wish it and subject others to "find something else".

Extra trouble of this is that the elitist are not even that elite. The sites current "golden boy" is blandly average with his words and writing. I could not get through one of his paragraphs let alone a constant stream of RP responses from this person. The community thinks it has a 'huge troll problem" but the reality is that they bring on the noise they get for their elitism with poor backing to it.

Don't fall into the trap of group think and elitism. Think outside their box and your own, always advert the norms willingly and happily. Take those who think they "know better" and break their glass houses with large brick rocks made of world shattering logic. These people are only to be an annoyance, nothing more.

This is a sad fate for FTO as the game, once you get past some major flaws in its design, is very enjoyable. With a game that is so strictly based off of its player base when you are greeted with such hostility for explaining you are not exactly happy and only trying to help, it makes you not wish to enjoy something you were enjoying.

Suggestion and Recommendation: Play Faery Tale Online, wait out its long birth queue and deal with some of its broken mechanics but do not join its forum and participate in the community unless you are willing to become a sheep puppet.

Grung Rock Munk!

There is a nice little fad on the net to make songs we all know, or at least enough of us know, into Chipmunk parodies. There are literally thousands of them on youtube but I picked out something a little extra special that gave me a smile. I was hoping that it would do something similar to you. For reference sake I am also going in include the original track music on this page as well.


Limp Bizkit - My Way


Now, who likes Limp Bizkit? They are a bit of an aquired taste and some people find them more crude then anything else but some of their songs fit into a more general type of audience, one of those is "My Way" and it is what I picked. Origianally I was going to go with "Break Stuff" but the Chipmunk version sounded a little too "rough" to have me posting on this blog without a small warning.


Limp Bizkit's My Way Chipmunk Style



I was amused by a lot of the Chipmunk reiterations but some just break the ears and sole. One of the many Tool songs just do not fit with a Chipmunk tone to them. These songs, along with others, are a little difficult to listen to sometimes but there is a small bit of smiles you could get from them if you tried.


The Pot by Tool Chipmunk Style



Did that not just make you cry in pain for the artist and/or song that was just raped by the Chipmunks? I know a tear left my cheek but I have a soft spot for the artist.

That small atrocity aside the moderately new movie did spur on these remakes some time ago and usually images from the movie are used. One particularly popular one seems to be the "gangster" Chipmunk poster but no rodent is going to look like a hard ass while he is still a rodent.

Fairy Tales!?

A game that I have been personally fighting tooth and nail is slowly gripping my attention and pulling me deeply into its game environment. It is something similar to Cantr and while only Cantr needs the hype, I shall give the other game its small dues.

Currently I have chastised the game on its forums for not fitting a few simple needs for its players while forcing other things that are based on the developer, as there is only one, views of what constitutes a reasonable world right. This would not be a problem for the games selling point not its open and free form world. A world that is free to be created by its players while still being horribly limited by its developer is not a free world. It is only the illusion of free.

You may, or may not, have realized that the name of the game has yet to be actually said. This is mainly because I still am withholding a final thought on the game. Currently it is in open Beta but due to several very bad game mechanics it would be almost impossible to actually recomened anyone this game. Especially with a delayed ability to play, currently one must wait aproximitly six to nine months before the ability to play is opened up for them.

That "feature" alone, by itself, cripples the game from being a recommendation. If this, and a couple other flaws such as its cluttered interface, are worked on or even overhauled entirely then we shall see about a full honest review.

There is, however, the shinnning hope I see with this game. I am actually enjoying some of its quirks. A few of said quirks I had originally written off as broken in one manner or another. The quriks I refer to still need work but are in no manner broken beyond the ability to play the game.

Once more time with this game is had by myself and a few things cleared with the community and/or its devolper I shall fork over a biased review, as all reviews are indeed very biased.

Faery Tale Online

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BRAIN FART!

Brain farts make me laugh, don't they you? I mean we all know its slightly annoying to have a sudden brain lapse but when you see others do it, you can not help and chuckle slightly to yourself. Apparently there was actually a study on brain farts and why they happen. According to the study, which was done last year, there is something of a thirty second precursor to a brain fart.

KGB Knows Something About Brain Farts

That being all fun, one should really check the link to the article in the side bar about the science behind a brain fart. It is really interesting to find out how the brain starts to take a nap upon doing something mindless and repetitive but anyone who has done a mindless and repetitive task could have told you that.

Really, if you stop to think about a brain fart, it may cause you to have a brain fart. You'll at least give those around you, if any, a kick from your involuntary release of ignorance.

Simon Says

Come on, who doesn't love Simon Says? I dare you not to spend at least an hour trying to beat your own personal score. Myself I could not get past about twelve. I never did have the sharpest memory but perhaps some of you will fair better.

Not much can be said about Simon Says. The game gives you a colored button combination to hit and you either do it correctly or incorrectly. Upon success you are given a longer pattern to follow. How long can you get yours?

Simon Says

Make a song with it, beat your record but above all else, remember to have fun. That is the purpose of a game after all. If you are not having fun playing Simon Says then I'm sorry you don't like pretty flashing lights with simple sound tones to implicate success.

Stretching the Truth

Roleplaying and other forms of collaborative writing all require its participants to play along with each others styles and manners by which they create. There is only a small problem with this and it is when does "truth" become "fiction" when one states a positive and another a negative from the same perspective. This is a good when trying to learn, have fun or "write by flight" but it can cause trouble among the group.

When one writer has something drastic or absurd happen* it can cause a catastrophic event among the rest. If others are not willing to play along with the sudden twist or alteration there quickly causes problems. Adversely when others do "play along" you start to break the line of truth. The truth of the story; its legitimacy, flow and general mood.


Truth

• The ability for a story to stay focused and on point.
  
• The believability to that the story has to its readers.
  
• The constant flow and easy to follow continuity of a story.
• No magic, lasers or anything not currently present in our reality.
  
• Can be found in science fiction and fantasy but is usually coined "Light Sci-Fi/Fantasy" and has little to no magic lasers etc and is "pushing" the line of truth.
  
• A stories general all around existence, if grounded in our reality.
• Requires similar minded individuals to keep truth at a constant.
  

Truth is something of a term I have "invented" for what I mean as I am unsure an actual word or phrase for what starts to happen. If a story is already on the border of the surreal then the truth is already slowly being lost and this was the point of the piece to begin with but a majority of writing, especially that of the collaborative nature, does not.

So far things sound well and good, right? Not exactly. Truth is needed to keep a reader in the story based on the reality of the world as he or she views it. This can be difficult as not everyone always sees, hears or tastes the same thing upon a similar situation. Some of us are even lacking the ability to use on of our senses so there becomes a true problem quickly.

Truth Problems

• Predictability of plot
• Lacking deep or well thought out plot
• Story is safe and appeals to a more general type of audience rather then a niche.
• A story with constant truth has no conflict or drive within it.
• Boredom for reader.
• Over use of truth leads to a lack as the reality becomes to Utopian and perfect.
  

While the truth of a story should be kept in mind and generally brought point it is good to drop the truth in favor of something more fun or interesting. This comes in matters where in stories something almost random happens and, at times, it can leave the reader a little out of the story. Abrupt change from truth to not causes an immediate removal of oneself from the world presented to you. This means that there must be balance.

So we must find truth in the stories we write while allowing it to also falter to the side without dropping it completely. This balancing act is, in itself, amusing to those who truly write a story with intent to amuse the rest of us.

*See Derailing Fiction for details.

Block Drops (Flash Game)

One would not believe this was a true flash game, especially with the option to fully download the game and play it as a client off line, but it is! The game looks, sounds, and plays so beautifully its just magic. The gameplay is so simple yet engaging you'll not be able to stop yourself from playing.

Controls

• Arrow Keys - Move
• Shift Key - Jump

Premise: You are a blob, thing, and you move about tile blocks trying to make it to the finish line, checkered box while making each stack of blocks disappear below the beautifully animated water.

I know that sounds dumb and might seem like you have even played it before someplace else but the music and animation drag you in. You almost feel like you are this little blob thing making musical steps continuing on a goal to who knows where. Honestly, you can not help but spend hours playing this game and once you realize you did, you play some more! It is rare that a flash game plays and sounds so well, at least to me, while still staying simple like a flash game should.

The game does, like most, have flaws. The basic the the ability to see. Actually it is the lacking in ability to see that causes the problem. There is only one view of the 3D rendered puzzles so your character can be easily hidden by taller block stacks and heavy forbid if you've an issue with depth perception. All of that and I'd still fully suggest this! PLAY THIS GAME, SERIOUSLY!

Link In Side bar but if you are lazy, you may go here as well.

Dream Relms (Coraline and/or Alice)

Alice meet Coraline, Coraline meet Alice. The two of you have had similar adventures both including rabbit holes, evil queens, a guiding cat and being a book later made to film. While with Alice In Wonder Land, this is rather literal with an actual rabbit hole and evil Queen of Hearts etc, Coraline's lines are more abstractly drawn.

The "rabbit hole" in Coraline is nothing more then a locked door. This could also be taken back to Alice with the talking doorknob as both are required to be opened to allow entrance into the world of wonder. While the talking doorknob has no key, the small wallpaper door has a key to match the world it hides, a button skeleton key. Also, Alice's door is only one way, letting her in but not out while Coraline may travel freely between both worlds, at first.

Evil Queens always run dream worlds, so it seems. It is as if women are the target to shatter the dreams of a small child. In Alice it is a "mother figure", keeping tabs on her kingdom even with a slightly ironed fist. Coraline literally has "another mother" to deal with. Each "evil queen" of the world is the main hurtle but, unlike Alice, Coraline actually fights. Alice flees from the Queen of Hearts and only has herself to save, Coraline has several she selfishly frees and even dooms the "other mother" to a destroyed world. Coraline the little girl savior, Alice the damsel in distress fleeing for her life and praying for her hero.

Cats! One, the Cheshire Cat is a guide into insanity and from the reality. Alice follows, dumbly, and eventually finds herself in loads of trouble do to this mangy feline. Coraline's feline companion warns of and tries to prevent trouble. Even rescuing Coraline at one point. Cat's are good at killing rats and helping, when it suits them, it seems.

Now on to a core issue. Alice was actually dreaming, there was no harm and once she woke it was only a personal lesson learned. Coraline's dream realm was a real threat. One that caused actual physical and emotional pain to herself and several others. No one believed, except for he friend Wybie, that the girl was telling the truth so only in essence was the world "not real".

Both books have also been made into movies. Alice in Wonderland getting the "Disney Make Over" and making everything a little less violent and/or angry in the process. while Coraline has the same charm of The Nightmare Before Christmas. Graphically there is no contest but this is due to the years the movies are apart. Because of that fact, neither can be judged against each other. As most of you have seen at least Alice in Wonderland, I shall only talk about the visual quality of Coraline.

3D is a neat trick in the theaters but it still fails at home. Still, at home, the staple of "one blue, one red" 3D glasses is how the movie is displayed. This would work better if one was not slightly colorblind, like myself. At one point there was time to stop the 3D of it and simply watch the 2D version as the glasses hurt not only my eyes but others. When you take the 3D "away" not much is actually lost. The movie still has a great charm and what is needed to be passed along in the story, is.

Musically, I am unsure. Both have their quirks, take a personal choice among the two songs I favore most from each.

Alice in Wonderland - Caterpillar



Coraline Song: Exploration

With Alice it is "cartoony" and the tone of music seems dated while Coraline's music has less of a need for the film itself, which is good when judging music on itself, it is still difficult to pick between them. However, when push comes to shove, Coraline beats Alice hands down on all counts; even if Alice "did it first" Coraline does it better, faster and stronger.