Today, A Joke! (Magic Broom and Carrotsticks)

A joke based in WWI that is slightly making fun of the mentally ill, depending on the version, and gullibility of people.

Magic Broom and Carrotsticks
Bob was joining the army and they were handing out rifles when he arrived, so he got in line. When it got to Bob, they had run out of guns. The man issuing rifles gave him a broom

"This is a magic broom -- point it at anybody, say 'Bangity bangity bang,' and they will die." Bob was really worried because he didn't think it would work, but he got in line for bayonets, thinking he might stand a chance if he could stab them to death. As luck would have it, Bob's turn came and they had ran out.

"Don't worry." said the man issuing them out. "I will give you this magic carrot -- point it at somebody, say 'Stabbity stabbity stab,' and they will die." Now Bob is terrified, going into battle with a broom and carrot.

When the sirens go off, signaling invasion. Bob goes out, only to be laughed at by the enemy. One enemy even comes up to him, hoping to get a good shot at him. Well, Bob didn't have anything to lose so he pointed at him and said "Bangity bangity bang!" and the guy fell down dead. He did the same thing with the magic carrot, "Stabbity stabbity stab.".

Amazed at what was happening, he continued to fight. "Bangity bangity bang. Stabbity stabbity stab." Then, a guy came slowly up to Bob but he would not die. Bob tried to shoot, "Bangity banity bang," And stab him, "Stabbity stabity stab," but he wouldn't die. The last words poor Bob heard as he was being trampled were "Tankity tankity tank."

I edited this a bit to read more like the one I originally heard but still the internet does not sell jokes well. It works much better when the spoke words of "Bangity" etc are said rather feverish and loud while the "Tankity" is said slow and deep. There was a quick, and fruitless, search for a possible video of a skit representing this joke but I failed to find one that didn't horribly suck. I feel this post may not be as successful as I originally hoped. Expect possible more in the future regardless as jokes still amuse.

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The Scaffold

An old school comedy band with some grand bits to share with the world. The Scaffold is a trio of men, one of whom apparently is Paul McCartney's brother, who have fun with their lyrics and music. A couple of their songs are hit singles, one of which I want to share, but they have many amusing songs.

One of my favorite of their songs has to be the silliest yet oddly profound musical rendition I have heard in all my twenty two years. This song is not only one of my favorite of the group but a favorite of its genre. I do classify "comedy" or "humorous" as its own genre of music.

Today's Monday is just the most simple and yet wonderfully amusing song I have ever heard. It is a ton of fun to sing along too, actually all of The Scaffold's music is. Anyway, enough talk of the music, this is about the music in general. Have a listen, yes?

Today's Monday


Lily The Pink


Weren't those two songs just uttermost excellence?

That comment above has made me ponder about "Bill & Ted". I shall now have to remember this thought for a later date and possible Solve Unamusement submission.

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Another Flash Based PBBG (Elements)

First off, let me note that Elements isn't technically a flash game in the manner that MyBrute was. This game is actually played, instead of watched. I think the reason for that is the game, Elements, is more java based but I'm not certain. Regardless, the game plays well but requires more of your PC then the average PBBG which is usually text.

The game is a card game similar to that of Magic The Gathering, however there are very notable differences. One of the main being how the cards are played. Each requires "quanta" (mana, don't let them fool you) but it is stocked piled over turns and does not require you to have mean. Another is that you pick a "elemental mark". This allows for free "quanta" without needing "pillers" (lands). The last difference would be that pillers/lands can all be played in one go. There is no limit to the amount which can be played in one turn. These features make the game faster then that of a typical Magic The Gathering, game. After those three things, you are basically playing a "speed mana" version of Magic.

Black and red still burn while green and white heal. Balance between land/pillers and other cards is still the main struggle. And multi color decks are the best to have if you wish to be able to handle all that is thrown at you. In Magic you obtain this usually by picking a couple colors you fully enjoy (one of them being either green or white) and putting in a lot of artifacts. In Elements you create something that is honestly dependent on every bit of qunta that is given.

After you play for some time you will come to realize that only one type of deck is being used by a majority of the community, with small alterations. This isn't bad as you can choose to not duel against human created decks but at the same time makes such duels rather boring and predictable. Funnily, you would think that makes the decks easy to beat but, sadly, I've not come up with much that can stop a few combination without subduing them early or adopting similar behavior.

Overall its a great game that has distracted me from a couple of other things. I suggest giving it a try. Registration for account takes almost zero time and once you get the feel of things you can start making some rather odd deck combinations. However, I'd suggest actually playing Magic The Gathering as your choices are better, the game is less limiting and you actually play with real people. The only real "up site" to this PBBG compared to Magic is that one doesn't cost any money.

Elements
Link also in sidebar.

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Update and/or Blog News

Time again for blog news and other such things of that nature. It has been awhile sense I decided or felt it was needed to post an update for a few reasons and one of them being that there aren't many updates. Basically there have been a lot of small changes here and there for one reason or another.

One of those things is that I'm constantly changing link clusters. Creating of new ones editing or deletion of old ones, no link cluster stays the same for long. Well, that's not exact. I have been trying to make a few of them a bit more general. Some rather give information within the blog post itself the best they can but providing additional links in the side bar is just to much fun. It also encourages people who are reader only people or email people to check the site itself. A few link clusters probably wont change much, if at all, like the one for anime and the other for ROMs and emulation.

One slightly major change/update has been my post template. While this isn't an actual template in the manner that the blog itself is based on, which I finally got where I want it, is a template that is standard. Its basically a small default setting on some HTML code I always want in posts. These bits of HTML are small but helpful.

Some of you may have noticed that I altered the top menu a bit. Nothing drastic but I found the "site goals" thing a bit dumb so had it removed. As it is now, I also used my feedburner to create a recent post page instead of the space taking widget. I like how this works because the only way for the widget to have a real value is if it is up near the top or if I only show one blog post at a time. I could not do either and be happy about it so decided on this option.

Another thing I wanna do with this post is thank my readers. The eight of you who "made it official" and the four or five I know of otherwise, I thank you. Anyone else who reads, I thank you too! Most of "us bloggers" wont admit we like the attention but I, indeed, like the attention.

The final thing I wish to do with this post is to make people fully aware of "Amusement Watch". This post was sorta kinda supposed to do that. I know the thing is a bit far down the page and most people don't really care about those blog lists but I only put the ones I watch and/or listen to within it. Basically, if you check that out you'll be ahead of the game when I decide to speak about someone/thing in particular. Then again, surprises are always fun.

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Spiders Are Not Evil

An insectoid that gets more crap then any other that is not directly considered a pest. Actually, these arachnids get rid of said pests and yet are thought of as more of a home invader while most are relatively harmless to humans.

While I say "relatively" I mean to that of a full grown adult who has enough sense to not touch eight legged things that have red hour glasses on their backs. For an infant, yes, any poisonous spider will be a threat. However, spiders in general are not a threat to anyone in at least a suburban area with a moderate standard of cleanliness.

Indeed there are some "nasty ones" in my area, alone. These "big meanies", off the top of my head, are the black widow, the brown recluse and the banana spider. Two of which try to avoid contact with humans and dislike anything larger then itself (The brown recluse and black widow) while the third is usually more fond of running. Out of the three only one is technically lethal.

The problem, at least in my area, with spiders is when they get big. Anything that is smaller then the tip of your thumb will, most of the time, run away in fear. Once in awhile one of these will have made itself one of the lucky few to get to the point of "mean and scary". At this point, even I can no longer play activist. Those monster things need to die!

Again, a problem comes with this as some people think all big spiders are "bad". This is not true! For example, the very common wolf spider is one of the most timid to human animals in my area. While these get very big very fast you have a greater chance of a rodent of the same size biting you instead. That, and the things aren't really poisonous. Basically, if the things actually bite you, it'll just hurt like a summa bish. Pets should avoid the females but otherwise its "cool".

Now, these are all assumed in my personal area of Melbourne Florida with personal experience from myself. If you live somewhere less populated or in the outback for example, I'd avoid anything with eight legs there. My reason for that would be not knowing about the creatures of that area. What I wouldn't do, regardless, is kill them unless I had to. Spiders, even in the outback and other gnarly locations, help kill the big nasty bugs that are actually aggressive toward humans. Then again, some spiders eat other spiders

The main gist of this post is "Spiders are not evil". They are just naturally creepy and/or ugly looking which causes an irrational fear response in a lot of people. Most of which do not even have the actual phobia of spiders but rather are just ignorant of them. I am a bit curious if I made anyone's skin crawl though. Please, wont you share?

Beware when bug hunting as spiders are attracted as well.

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Conjunction a Bill (Schoolhouse Rock)

Now I bet a few of you just asked yourselves if I was being serious. The answer is: yes I am being serious and I have reasons why.

Schoolhouse Rock was one of the many options available for Saturday morning cartoons and a favorite pick for questioning parents. I, for one, didn't watch the show much but there are the few songs that we all know. Why do we know these? That is because Schoolhouse Rock is pop culture.

The pop culture part of Schoolhouse Rock isn't its main appeal, however. What is so drawing to the show, even today, is how well it explains things. Yes, they are horribly watered down and show only basics but you've to remember the original target audience. Recall how old you were when you first saw an episode.

Schoolhouse Rock: Conjunction Junction


Schoolhouse Rock: I'm Just a Bill


But from my point of view one of the best parts of Schoolhouse Rock is that a lot of the songs on the show are easy to remember and once you've heard them, your brain wants to hear moren. So I guess I'm sorry, not really, that I "made you" listen to some Schoolhouse Rock. Enjoy having one, or both, of those songs repeating in your head for the next four days. One of the only reasons I posted these is for that reason alone. The songs came to be stuck in my mind so I was, indeed, forced to hear their full versions.

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Phantom Tollbooths On The Screen

Today we shall revisit an old post, as well. If anyone has either read The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster and found it blissful amusement while at the same time likes, or at least doesn't mind, family friendly animation then I've a treated suggestion.

Now, assuming you can handle animation and films from the very late 1960s or 70s, have a slightly distorted view of what's funny or not and truly enjoyed the book then The Phantom Tollbooth film will really appeal to you. Its not the longest film, sitting at barely an hour of view, and starts off rather weakly typical for the era but whats great about the movie as a whole is the animation.

Chuck Jones, a personal favorite of my own, directed the animated portions of the film which take up about 90% of the film. The entire movie is a string of bad cartoon gags and plays on words. Okay music, considering what it is the music is actually right in tune. Some of the songs were a little brutal like when the kid decided he was an alto or one of the already funny sounding character decided to sing.

Some of my favorite parts from the book are not present in the movie or have been altered fro one reason or another but I hardly missed them. I believe they were cut due to time constraint more then anything. My only problem with the movie is its ending. The whole "Okay the quest is over now lets all be happy and sing a song about the events that passed" did not set well with me. Now, the book ends in a similar way (removing the music) and I had no problem. I think its just the last song that's rather brutal to listen to.

For those of you who would like to watch the film and do not wish to download I have provided a link to a playlist which contains the full film in 14 parts. It is also within the sidebar. I would, however, suggest looking for the film for download as that will be a much cleaner viewing and encourages you to actually watch the entire film.


The Phantom Tollbooth Movie - 14 Parts

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Listings

Today I thought I would provide a list of regularly amusing blogs which I read, sometimes. These blogs are from some of my own readers, yes, but the overall amusement is there.

Notice for amusement: The blog has to be updated regularly, have a regular flow of content and be something that is, generally, always worth reading in order for it to be considered for this post.

Amusement Watch Highlights

• Synesthesia: A blog almost as random in its listings as my own. This blog hits its slumps but, generally, I at least get a chuckle out of posts for one reason or another.

• Something and Nothing: This blog is from the artist Kelly Vivanco. It is her personal blog and at times she shares some of her awesomely twisted works. There is information on places where you can view or buy her art too, if you've the money.

• Strictly Bangers: Its a music blog which I gave extra note to at one point in time but as its constantly giving cool and new music I'm rather excited to see what it gives me upon each post.

• He and She Reviews: While the blog has currently hit a pause I still generally like the concept of it in a whole. I believe the reason for no posts recently might be due to the couple that operates the blog having their wedding.

• Monday Artday: Something that is just awesome for anyone who likes to draw, paint, or whatever. It allows for anyone who is an artist of any level to have fun and add to the pot. There is some kind of competition in there but I read and participate for the art.

Listings have no particular order.

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