Solve Unamusement: Know The Rules (Zombie)

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Solve Unamusement has been closed, but that does not mean you can't still find random amusements or keep in touch with the former author of this blog.

Everything shall be on the author's deviantART journal and there is a feed to go with it.

The Dudel Journal

Know The Rules (Zombie)

Anyone who has seen or heard of Zombieland knows there are at least 32 rules to surviving a zombie apocalypses. The difficulty is anyone who is smart, or greedy, doesn't share all that information. Don't need everyone knowing the rules as you do need a patsy or two.

With only a few of those rules shared, let us create some of our own. There are 32 in total so lets see if we can make a good idea of how to survive when the proverbial shit hits the literal fan.

Firstly, the start of the rules as we know them.

  • Rule# 1 Cardio: Run fast and make sure you can keep running. When you can't run those sprinting zombie monsters are gonna get'cha.
  • Rule# 2 Beware of Bathrooms: Zombies somehow know when your pants are down. Best do not let them have that opportunity.
  • Rule# 3 Seatbelts: Safety first! When the world is going to hell and people aren't paying attention, you better buckle up for when someone smashes into your car at 5+0mph.
  • Rule# 4 Double Tap: When unsure, make sure. An extra 15 seconds to smash that zombie on extra time in his face hole will keep you alive for more than the 15 seconds it took to do so.

This is when things start getting a little fuzzy. From here on we have to fill in our own blanks and try our best to create a nice rounded set of rules that will keep us alive as long as possible. There are a few sites that have listings like Zombieland Rules and some personal blogs with personal listings but such things get tedious quickly.

Zombieland Rules 1=4

The short of things, though, is to pay attention to your surroundings and know enough about your opponent to avoid being his/her next meal.


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